Omonigo’s partner is very social and friendly. She enjoys talking with people, especially men, at social events, and this often helps her make business connections. But Omonigo feels uncomfortable with how close she seems to get with other men. He’s also worried about her contact with her ex, especially since she accepts gifts and money from him, which makes Omonigo question if there’s more to it.
“There is this disturbing thing about my woman: she likes talking to guys. First of all, she is a pretty lady, chubby and short. She has a beautiful smile with good dentitions. She is very friendly and most of her friends are guys. According to her she grew up in the midst of boys, and she is an only daughter. She became very comfortable around guys. I am trying very hard to believe she is not having any sexual relationships with them. You need to hear their discussions when she is talking to them on the phone – they talk dirty things, all in the name of a cruise. I would be sitting right beside her and she wouldn’t even care about my feelings, she would be on a call with a guy she claimed they are just friends for more than an hour. Gisting and laughing. When I complain she would say talking to them is another way of relaxing and she likes doing it. When she is in a gathering, she would approach you with a beautiful smile and she do it gracefully. She would ask you at the spot to be her friend, and she would ask for your number even while I am with her. That was how we met, too, she was the one that asked me to be her friend and afterwards we bonded well. Besides, she is my type of woman. I frowned at it initially but I noticed she enjoyed doing it and sometimes those guys she collected her numbers became good connections. She is into sale of building materials and those contacts are helping her.
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“But I don’t trust her with some of the guys, too. I must be sincere here. I don’t trust her with those guys, and I am not comfortable with her talking to many guys. That is even aside, this lady still collects money and gifts from her ex, and she would tell me that she didn’t beg him and that it’s bad to reject gifts. I am suspecting she is still in love with her ex, and I am afraid she is having an affair with him. When I asked her about it she said she could never have anything with the ex again, but the question now is why is she still receiving gifts from him? Is it something I should be worried about?”
Dear Omonigo, if she’s your partner, then trust is key. If she says nothing is happening with the guys she talks or jokes with, believe her. Trust is the foundation of a healthy relationship. If you start doubting her without reason, it could harm your relationship. Since she acts this way openly around you, it may just be harmless fun. That said, it’s still good to be mindful, as casual feelings can sometimes grow. You might want to ask her more about her friendships and her reasons for staying in touch with her ex. Understanding this might make you feel more at ease. Also, both of you could set some boundaries on what feels respectful in your relationship, especially with friendships with the opposite sex and accepting gifts from ex-partners.
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