Temi has one desire: to reunite with her ex, whom she left four years ago. Although she has been in other relationships since, none have come close to what she had with him. Determined to take control of her love life, she’s ready to put aside her pride and give love another chance. She has decided to visit him and ask for a second chance. Despite their breakup, they have stayed good friends, but now Temi wants him back—not just as a friend, but as her lover for life.
“We broke up four years ago because he cheated with my best friend. When he told me about it, I got angry and I stopped talking to him. Since then, he has been begging me to forgive him and come back to him. Aside from that, he has never stopped sending me money. I am currently doing my youth service in Ibadan and I am planning to visit him at his workshop, but I don’t have the courage yet.
“After I left him, I have dated four other guys, and they are nothing close to my ex. In fact, they are like a weapon fashioned against me. It’s either he is a chronic liar, or a woman beater, or a cheater. I came to realise that my ex is the best of them. I regretted leaving him, but my pride did not allow me to go back to him when he was begging me to come back to him. I even swore that I won’t return to him. But as it is now, I am ready to crawl on my knees to beg him to accept me back, I just hope he will accept me.
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“I have not seen him face to face for the past three years after our break up. But we have been communicating, he has always reached out to me. Whenever I called him that I needed money, he wouldn’t hesitate to send it. I know he still loves me. And I have not stopped loving him too. We met when I was in my final year in secondary school. I am a tall girl, (6.2 feet tall) and look older than my age. Right from when I was 12 years, I had already started getting passes from guys. But when I told them my age, they wouldn’t believe me. I was 17 when we started dating, I looked 25 then. He was my first love and we were together for three years. It broke my heart when he told me he slept with my best friend. I didn’t catch him, he was the one that told me. I think the girl wanted him to leave me; she was threatening him to make their affair open. He was afraid the girl would tell me. He decided to tell me himself.
“I was in pain, so I stopped talking to him and the girl. That was when I got admission into the university. I was happy I didn’t get to see both of them. But he never stopped reaching out to me. Now, I don’t know if I should just move on or I should go and beg him as I have planned. Won’t I look stupid? I know he might have someone else in his life. I just want to give it a try. If I get rejected I would know that at least I tried.”
Dear Temi, I won’t discourage you from doing what feels right for you. You know your ex better than anyone, and maybe you have noticed signs that he wants you back. However, I think it’s important to approach this carefully. Avoid coming across as too desperate, so he doesn’t take advantage of the situation or disrespect you in the future. A good way to start is by reconnecting as friends. Visit him, spend time together, and try to rebuild your friendship. This will give you the chance to observe him closely and find out important things, like whether he is seeing someone else or still has feelings for you. Also, take things slowly—don’t rush into anything physical too soon. That could complicate things and ruin the chances of building something meaningful.
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