After making her believe he would marry her soon, Brume became relaxed around her ex. She even lent him money several times, trusting he would pay it back someday. But even if he didn’t, she thought it didn’t matter—they would be together forever, and what was his would eventually be hers, too. However, she didn’t know he had other plans. Once he could no longer get money from her, he left her and moved on to another woman.
“We met at the end of the year’s party organized by his company. It was Christmas time and I was invited by my friend who works in the same company. It’s usually a big occasion. I was on a short black dress, and I wore light make-up. I packed my hair up in a ponytail and orange heel shoes to compliment my gown. I knew I was looking good on that particular day. He came and sat close to me, greeted me politely and began to flirt with me quietly. I could barely hear him because of the loud music coming from the speaker. He gave me his phone to type my number which I gladly did. In Fact before I left the house that day I had prayed to meet someone that would ask me out. I was happy that my beautiful looks weren’t in vain.
“After seven months, he took me to his village in Edo State to see his parents and they gave me a warm welcome. He told them that he wanted to get married to me. I felt so much comfortable with him. As my future husband, I didn’t hide anything from him, including my finances. He knew how much I was earning and so many things about me. He was the first guy to take me to his parents, so I thought he was serious about getting married to me.
“When we came back, he told me he needed money to buy land. The land was N1.5 million. He asked me to lend him N700,000 which I did. He promised to pay back but months later, he didn’t pay back. We went to see his parents for the second time. This time it was a festive period. He even bought a car but refused to pay my money back.
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“Later he introduced me to an online networking business, and I gave him the money to register me, about N500,000. He said I would be getting monthly benefits. I only received N50,000 once and the rest became a story. There was other little cash he kept borrowing without a refund. He always knew when I had money. This guy never gave me anything except when we ate out and he paid the bills, or the money he gave me to cook for him. He never gave me any tangible thing.
“Aside from his constant borrowing without repayment, he was a cool guy, and sometimes he would tell me that I was his wife and both of us were going to enjoy whatever he was building for us. I felt I was married to him already. If anyone had told me he would leave me someday, I wouldn’t have believed it.
“In 2024, he started complaining about my looks, saying I wasn’t taking care of myself and I needed to look more attractive. One day, I was at his place when he woke me up in the middle of the night and began to tell me he had no feelings for me anymore. He had been forcing himself to stay, he said, adding that he didn’t think we were compatible. After three years of being together, you now realized we were not compatible, I asked him? What of my money? He promised to pay back but, as I write, he hasn’t paid my money back and I learnt he has traveled out with another lady. I am heartbroken.”
Dear Brume, At this point, don’t be too hard on yourself. You lent him money out of love and trust, and that shows you have a kind and loving heart. I know you might feel used right now, but don’t let that feeling consume you. Take this as a lesson—be cautious with men who constantly ask for money in a relationship. A real man usually feels uneasy about borrowing money from someone he loves, especially when he is not married to you yet because it can bruise his pride. As for the money, if you can let it go, do so. Focus on healing and moving forward to the next chapter of your life. You deserve better.
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