Ami’s relationship with her ex has been like a cycle—some romance, then some fights. He was her first love, and she really wanted things to work out. Every time they fought, she would beg him to stay. But it’s been almost a year since their last argument, and now he’s back, asking for another chance. Ami is scared that he might leave her again, just like before.
“He was my first love, you know how one behaves when you fall in love for the first time. I was intoxicated by his love. I did everything to make the relationship work. Then I had just gotten admission into the university, and I left my parents’ house to go to my school. I had my freedom, and it tasted so sweet. I could do whatever I wanted without being questioned or scolded.
“I stayed off campus and he was living close to my house. He is from Edo State and I am anIgbo girl. I didn’t have a problem with his tribe.I just loved him from the first day.
“He is very handsome and he was the first guy that showed me love. We dated through my days in school, for five years. Throughout this period, we separated many times. When we broke up, I would be the one begging him, even when he was wrong. I was always the one begging him to come back, after months, he would just call me and the fight would end.
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“There was one over which we broke up for more than a year. I had already moved on with another guy but he came back. I had to leave the guy I was dating to return to him. I love him so much and I think he knows. I had already envisioned in my heart being his woman forever and it broke my heart each time he left me for no reason.
“I have even visited his home town. I met with his family. I thought then that we would soon get married but a few months later he stopped talking to me because I picked up a guy’s call in his presence. As usual, I arranged with his friend and he told me when he was around and I came to visit. When I got there he asked me to leave. He said he needed a break. I knew he was angry with me. He is the type that doesn’t know how to express themselves. He won’t tell you your offense.
“I left that day. Unlike before I didn’t beg him to stay. Last month, he was calling me again, he wanted us to come back together. But I don’t love him like before. I have other guys around me though I don’t really love them. I am thinking of going back to him, but I am scared he will leave me again.”
Dear Ami, Guys like this are often time-wasters. He may keep doing this until he finds someone he truly wants to marry. To him, you seem like a backup plan. He’s looking for a certain type of woman, and since he hasn’t found her yet, he keeps coming back to you after things don’t work out elsewhere. How can you be sure he’ll stay this time? I think you shouldn’t go back to him. But if you decide to, ask him what he really wants and why he’s back. Make sure he’s clear about his intentions. Don’t rush into things with him. Before falling for him again, make sure he shows some real commitment.
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