•Distraught mother begs Saturday Sun to help find her only child allegedly ‘seized’ by estranged spouse 24 years ago
• Says, I’ll remain single till I find my child
From Wilson Okereke, Afikpo
An Edo State-born woman, Agnes Okanemeh Edeigba whose marriage to an indigene of Imeko in Ogun State, (names withheld) allegedly collapsed around 1999, is desperately seeking to reunite with her only surviving child.
Agnes claimed that she has been denied access to her son, who she identified as Bernard Oluwagbemiga Osakpolo Adepoju, for over 20 years.
But the man at the centre of the storm declined to react to the allegation when he was called on telephone.
He thanked Saturday Sun for contacting him and promised that he would revert. Unfortunately, he never got back to the reporter after over a week, even as he ignored further efforts to speak with him.
The woman, who presently lives in Ebonyi State, said that she encountered her estranged husband, a professional fine artist, in 1993 while she was working with Standard Breweries, Alomaja, Ibadan, Oyo State. She stated that one Pastor Stephen Olusegun officiated at their wedding held at He Reigns Bible Church, Orita Challenge, Ibadan, on May 9 1993.
She disclosed that the marriage from inception was characterised by series of crises. She said following pieces of advice from some of her friends and spiritual director, she endured, with the hope that the misunderstandings would one day be a thing of the past. It was on that note that she remained steadfast and gave birth to two other children, Roseline, who was born on July 19, 1997 and Victor, who came some two years after. But unfortunately, Roseline and Victor later died under separate circumstances some years later.
“My first encounter with my estranged husband was at Alomaja in Ibadan while I was working at Standard Breweries. Though before then, my entire experiences in the hands of the man were foretold by some men of God, I felt that the problem could be averted with prayers and sincerely, I prayed vehemently over the revelation.
“On 16th February, 1994, my first offspring, Bernard Oluwagbemiga Osakpolo Adepoju was born and around 1999, my ex-husband, on a fateful morning took me with his vehicle, as if we were having a leisurely drive, went to my brother’s place, Mr Anthony Edeigba in the same Ibadan and dropped me. After my brother had noticed that there was a problem, he invited my ex-husband to ascertain the reason behind his action. But my former spouse only reacted that his action was in line with his people’s traditional way of discharging a woman whose husband is no longer comfortable with,” she narrated.
She alleged that the man was not only using her as a punching bag at the slightest misunderstanding but also was in the habit of throwing her belongings outside their apartment in most cases. According to her, for the sake of peace, she had on occasions invited many people who mediated in the matter but all to no avail, as the man remained adamant.
She added that she later relocated to Asaba in Delta State with her family after one of her brothers’ in-law, Pius Ojo, now late, had assisted her former spouse to secure a job there.
“When he began to display some unpleasant attitude, I complained to one of my spiritual mothers and the woman counselled me. She said that such mild problem is usually found in every new marriage and on that note, I should not worry that it would be over.
“But as time progressed, I became a punching bag, my former husband was very good at finding fault in every of my dealings, and the act was always accompanied with beatings, even during my pregnancy periods.
“I can recall that during the delivery of Bernard, he took me to St. Mary Hospital, Eleta in Ibadan around 6:00am and did not ask of me again until the following day, whereas I had already put to bed in the evening of that first day.
“To be candid, the marriage was filled with a lot of problems from the beginning mostly when I requested that I would love to see his parents as to know his place of origin apart from Ibadan town where we were living then. To my greatest surprise, he bluntly refused and equally told me that I might likely regret the visit if it was granted. And that was how the man kept on avoiding every discussion involving his permanent home until we eventually separated,” she stated.
The distraught woman said that some of her ex-husband’s brothers were visiting them at Ibadan. She said on that note, she felt that it would be wise to identify with her husband’s other family members. But the man’s incessant threats, she said, made her to stop disturbing him over the issue of travelling to his home town.
Agnes explained further that even after she had sojourned at Asaba with her husband for some time and went back to Ibadan as directed by him, he was still visiting her in Ibadan. But she said the period was not pleasant too, noting that both of them could be friendly for a day or two and lived as cat and mouse in the rest period of the month.
She continued: “When the situation became so intense, I confided in my pastor’s wife, Mrs. Toyin Olusegun, who advised me that the situation would become okay. And while I was facing the ordeal, I did not intimate my brothers and sister in order not to involve a third party in the marriage.
“Even my sister’s husband, Late Pius Ojo, I did not tell him in order not to cause problem in his relationship with my former husband. So, after the death of our daughter, Roseline at Asaba, one of the days after we had returned to Ibadan, the man told me that he would want me to relocate to my brother’s place. And suddenly, he stopped caring for me.”
She alleged that on a particular morning, her former spouse took her in a car to her brother’s place at the Railway Quarters in Ibadan, close to Dugbe Market but dropped her just few houses to the place. He then zoomed off with their son, Bernard.
“If he had taken Bernard to Asaba or his own sister’s place, I don’t know but after that day, around 1999, he came to my brother’s house. And after my brother had confronted him for abandoning me, my ex-husband answered that it was his people’s customary way of discharging a woman whenever a man was tired of staying with such person. Thereafter, he left and till now, I have not seen him again,” she said.
The woman said that she had rejected many marriage proposals from different men because of her love for her son, Bernard, and would continue being single until she finds the young man.
“My ex-husband and I did the traditional wedding, court wedding and a blessed wedding. We had marriage certificates but he told me that those things did not mean anything to him. That was what he usually said each time we had a problem and in the long run, he discarded me without having any consideration of those documents,” she added.
Agnes believes that her estranged husband might have brainwashed their only son, Bernard, that she is dead or provided the young man with other nasty information about her. She noted that without such wrong report, her son would have been worried to meet and reunite with his mother all this while.
Agnes lamented: “It is because of Bernard that I have been single since the past 24 years. I have been praying for him too, because it will be disheartening to lose three of my children. This is why I decided to take this step by appealing to anyone who may have come across my son to tell him that his mother is still alive and also eager to see him.
“I am appealing to The Sun. I am still appealing that people should disseminate this information. Some persons may not know him with Osakpolo, which in one of Edo State’s dialects means ‘God is great.’ But with or without the native name, Bernard Oluwagbemiga Adepoju remains my son.”
She further pleaded that any persons with information regarding the son should reach her through these numbers: 08030419901, 09073950269.
