• When love is blind: Visually impaired broadcaster beats odds to marry sighted friend

    When love is blind visually impaired broadcaster beats odds to marry sighted friend - nigeria newspapers online
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    When love is blind: Visually impaired broadcaster beats odds to marry sighted friend

    Trust Shawn-Inonse and Ebunoluwa

    In a world where love often seems contingent on appearances, the story of Trust Shawn-Inonse and Ebunoluwa stands as a testament to the power of connection that transcends the physical, GODFREY GEORGE, who attended their wedding on August 28, 2024, writes

    Trust never imagined he would be getting married at 29. For him, marriage was not something he should prioritise, especially given his condition.

    “I was not a big fan of unions or doing life with someone forever,” he admits.

    The thought of commitment seemed burdensome to him, even daunting, especially with the added challenge of vision loss.

    Yet, as fate would have it, love found him when he least expected it, and it was through someone who had been by his side all along—his best friend, Ebunoluwa.

    Their path first crossed in 2014 at the University of Lagos, where Ebun was in her final year in the Department of Mass Communication, and Shawn-Inonse was just starting his academic journey as a freshman.

    Though their connection was immediate, Shawn-Inonse never imagined that their friendship would evolve into something deeper.

    “When I met Ebun, did I think we would get married? No. Did I like her? Yes. But I was conscious that the dynamics would not work. She was in her finals, and I was just coming in,” he said.

    Despite his initial reservations, Shawn-Inonse felt a deep connection with Ebunoluwa—a sense of clarity and calm that told him she was someone special.

    A love realised

    As their friendship deepened, Shawn-Inonse began to see Ebunoluwa in a different light.

    What began as a friendship, born out of shared interests and mutual respect, gradually blossomed into something more profound.

    Shawn-Inonse and Ebunoluwa would spend hours talking about everything and nothing, their conversations flowing effortlessly as they discovered the depth of their connection.

    “There were times we’d call each other and spend hours on the phone talking about nothing in particular,” Shawn-Inonse reminisces. “The fact that we kept talking was beautiful.”

    Shawn-Inonse admired Ebunoluwa for her kindness, industriousness, and the way she treated others with respect and compassion.

    “She is one of the most industrious people ever,” he says with admiration. “She is a certified skincare consultant, digital marketer, blogger, and content creator. She does all these things effortlessly.”

    But it was not just her professional accomplishments that endeared Ebunoluwa to Shawn-Inonse. It was her character, kindness, and ability to be firm, yet gentle that truly captured his heart.

    “I evaluate people not just by how they treat me but by how they treat others,” Shawn-Inonse explains.

    “Ebun is someone who treats others with kindness. However, she is also firm. If you ask her to do something and she can’t, she will say no in the nicest of ways.”

    What he had initially dismissed as an impossible dynamic gradually became a possibility, and he found himself falling in love with her.

    “I actually wanted to introduce Ebun to one of my friends, because he was searching for a partner,” Shawn-Inonse admits. “I felt Ebun was really lovely and would make a good bride for my friend. But, unfortunately, that did not work out.”

    Fate, it seemed, had other plans. A missed meeting between Ebunoluwa and Shawn-Inonse’s friend led to the realisation that perhaps it was Shawn-Inonse himself who was meant to be with her.

    As the years passed, their bond grew stronger, and Shawn-Inonse found himself unable to imagine a life without her by his side.

    “I never envisaged that at 29 I would be getting married,” he reflects. “It was not necessarily planned, because I was not a big fan of unions or doing life with someone forever. But here I am, and I am glad it happened.”

    Too good to be true

    “It feels too good to be true, getting married to the love of my life, Ebun,” Shawn-Inonse said, his voice filled with a profound sense of wonder and gratitude as he sat beaming with a smile that lit the room.

    “Understanding the fact that a lot of people labour for and aspire to this kind of love, but it often eludes them, makes this moment even more special.

    “Of course, I am seemingly disadvantaged by not being able to see, but having someone who understands all that and chooses to be with me is the sweetest feeling.”

    Blind at age four

    Born fully sighted, Shawn-Inonse’s early years were marked by the joy of discovery, the innocence of childhood, and the love of his family.

    However, this joy was abruptly interrupted when, at the age of four, he was diagnosed with complicated glaucoma, a condition that would eventually rob him of his sight.

    The first surgery provided a glimmer of hope, briefly restoring his vision, but it was not to last.

    A second surgery was scheduled, but doctors soon realised that further intervention would be futile.

    The news was devastating for his parents, who had done everything within their power and were optimistic about getting a different outcome.

    “My parents did everything they could to ensure I saw them again,” Shawn-Inonse recalls.

    “They sold property and poured their hearts and resources into treatments, surgeries, and hospital visits.

    “My mum used to cry a lot because she couldn’t believe that she would give birth to a child who would end up not seeing, maybe for the rest of his life.”

    Despite the overwhelming challenges, Shawn-Inonse displayed remarkable resilience from a young age.

    “I remember I would tell my mum that I’d be fine, and it would make her cry even harder,” he shared.

    Even at that tender age, Shawn-Inonse’s confidence in his abilities and his determination to lead a full life were evident.

    Finding strength in faith and family

    The young man’s journey was made bearable by the unwavering support of his family, who stood by him through every trial and tribulation. His parents, though heartbroken, refused to give up on him.

    They sought second and third opinions, taking him to the Ikeja General Hospital and even to a renowned eye clinic in Kaduna State.

    However, the verdict was always the same—Shawn-Inonse’s sight cannot be restored.

    Faced with this reality, his parents made a decision that would shape his future.

    They chose to focus on helping him lead a fulfilling life, rather than dwelling on what could not be changed.

    “They didn’t take me to any pastor for experimentation,” Shawn-Inonse notes. “My parents simply taught me how to live my life without too much dependence on others.”

    Whilst growing up, he attended the Pacelli School for the Blind in Surulere, Lagos, for his primary education.

    From there, he moved on to Model College, Agbowa, Ikosi, Lagos, and later to the Federal Government College, Ijanikin, Lagos.

    Eventually, he found his way to the University of Lagos, where he pursued a degree in Mass Communication—a decision that would lead him to the love of his life.

    Heartbreaks

    Heartbreak is not a common thread in Shawn-Inonse’s story, but the few he experienced were intense.

    According to him, his heartbreak was not just a result of unreciprocated affection but was compounded by the weight of societal expectations and misconceptions.

    He reflected on a past experience with a lady whose initial disinterest was a painful blow. Shawn-Inonse had envisioned a future with her, believing she was the one.

    “There was a lady I spoke to about liking her and wanting a relationship. She told me she wasn’t ready for a relationship. Two weeks later, I heard she agreed to date someone else. I felt really heartbroken and even fell ill. I genuinely liked this babe. In my head, I thought it had to be her.”

    “After that, I moved on and met other people. There was one who told me frankly that she couldn’t date a blind person, and I appreciated her honesty. I didn’t feel bad. I always appreciate honesty. Once anyone is honest, I respect them double,” he said.

    On the flip side, Shawn-Inonse also encountered individuals who, despite their feelings, were taken aback by his discernment.

    Some might assume that his blindness renders him more accepting and more inclined to settle for less.

    This misconception often leads to surprise when Shawn-Inonse stands firm on his preferences.

    “There were also some people who liked me that I didn’t like. If you had spoken to them, they’d tell you with shock how they met a blind person who rejected them. In their heads, since I can’t see, I should jump on anything. I am Trust Shawn-Inonse. I know what I want. If you’re not what I want, I’ll say no.

    “I’m a really picky person, and people used to pick on me, saying, ‘You that can’t see, why are you this picky?’ I’ve had a couple of heartbreaks. At times, it’s disturbing. I’m still friends with all my exes,” he confessed.

    Asked how he was able to convince Ebunoluwa’s parents to let her marry a visually impaired person, Shawn-Inonse said he told his fiancée to speak to her parents about their relationship.

    “I told her straight up that she had to tell them I’m blind because I didn’t want to waste a second convincing anyone why she should be with me. It was either they accepted or rejected me,” he said.

    He was lucky. Ebunoluwa’s parents had no issues with the idea.

    “There was no negative feedback. There was a time when we were speaking to her uncle, and her mum defended me, saying, ‘No, this guy is good.’

    “So, from her parents’ and family’s side, it wasn’t really hard; it was smooth and straightforward. I loved every bit of it because I had already told her I wouldn’t waste a second convincing anybody,” he added.

    When asked how he responds to the common assumption that a spouse might cheat on their blind partner, Shawn-Inonse said, “Your sight has nothing to do with your private parts,” emphasising that being blind doesn’t diminish his capacity for love or intimacy.

    For Shawn-Inonse, the idea that his wife might cheat on him simply because of his blindness is not only unfounded but also misguided.

    “If they cheat on me, it’s not because I can’t see; it’s because they want to cheat,” he said.

    Shawn-Inonse believes that the foundation of any strong relationship is mutual trust and respect.

    “Why would I marry someone thinking they might cheat on me?” he questioned.

    Promise of commitment

    When asked about the promises he’s made to his wife, Shawn-Inonse’s response was both profound and selfless.

    “I told her just a few hours ago, ‘If it comes to selling my kidney to make you happy, I’ll do it.”

    For Shawn-Inonse, his greatest joy lies in seeing his wife happy, a feeling that underscores his deep commitment to her well-being.

    Trust makes love easy – Ebunoluwa

    Ebunoluwa, the 28-year-old woman, confirmed that she met Shawn-Inonse over a decade ago at the University of Lagos.

    “Our journey is an interesting one,” she recalled, her voice filled with nostalgia.

    The two met at a Kingdom Hall meeting, where Shawn-Inonse, a new face, caught Ebunoluwa’s attention.

    “In my usual self, I was just trying to get to know him, but not on the level that you think,” she says with a chuckle.

    Even after graduating and going their separate ways, Ebunoluwa found herself thinking of Shawn-Inonse and unaware at the time that fate had more in store for them.

    “Sometimes, I just found that I was remembering this person as a friend, nothing more,” she says,

    Years passed, and their lives took different turns. It wasn’t until the COVID-19 pandemic that they reconnected.

    This time, the connection was more profound. Shawn-Inonse, who had always harboured deeper feelings for Ebunoluwa, finally found the courage to express them.

    “In 2020 or 2021, he asked me to be his girlfriend,” Ebunoluwa recalled. Initially hesitant, she agreed to give it a try, viewing it as an opportunity to explore what could be.

    “If it works, fine; if it doesn’t, that’s also fine—we’re still friends,” she recalled muttering to herself.

    Their relationship, however, didn’t immediately work out, and they returned to being friends.

    They continued to support each other’s careers—Shawn-Inonse in media, and Ebunoluwa in social media and skincare.

    It wasn’t until November 14, 2022, that Ebunoluwa decided to give their relationship another shot.

    This time, the connection was undeniable. “At this point, we understood each other better, we knew our flaws, weaknesses, and strengths,” she said.

    From that moment on, their relationship deepened, leading them to where they are today— marriage.

    Family and Society

    Navigating societal expectations and challenges has not been without its hurdles.

    “My family will always support your choice regardless of what it is,” Ebunoluwa says proudly.

    Her family, though initially concerned, fully embraced her decision once they understood the depth of her relationship with Shawn-Inonse.

    “When I told my mum this is the person I’m dating, she asked, ‘Are you sure? Is it out of pity?’ But I told her we’ve been friends for a while, and I understand the challenges.”

    Ebunoluwa admitted that her biggest concern was how they would navigate life together, given Shawn-Inonse’s visual impairment.

    But her worries were soon put to rest. “When I got closer to him, I realised that he’s not actually overly dependent. He can actually do some things on his own,” she explained, adding that this realisation brought her a sense of peace.

    Reflecting on the future, Ebunoluwa sees a life full of possibilities.

    “I see a very bright and interesting future for both of us,” she said confidently.

    “With the help of God and the Bible as our guide, I hope we can navigate marriage well.”

    Union beyond sight

    On Wednesday, as Shawn-Inonse, dressed in a fine green suit, and Ebunoluwa, in her beautiful white wedding dress, stood before their loved ones, exchanging vows that would bind them together for life, their love story reached its crescendo.

    It was a moment of triumph, not just for Shawn-Inonse and Ebunoluwa, but for everyone who had witnessed their journey—one that proved true love is not about what the eyes can see but about what the heart can feel.

    “I am more than grateful to have someone who understands me, someone who sees beyond my blindness and loves me for who I am,” Shawn-Inonse said with deep emotion. This individual, Ebun, is worth my life and commitment.”

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